Tuesday

Happiness

 Last night someone told me.."Happiness is superficial". I cant say i agree or disagree on it, since im not familiar on the meaning of superficial. So base on my good look and awesome track record in the sexual department.. i google the word superficial.....but instead i mistyped it as Superfacial.

Voila !...porns ! heaps of porns ....after much masturbation due to my admiration of these actresses, i continue my search for the meaning of superficial.

"In terms of emotion, superficial refers to a false or insincere display of emotion. For example, to display 'superficial charm" refers to someone who externally appears genuine and charming yet is intentionally appearing so, perhaps for personal gain."<wiki>

So in layman terms....gua baru belajar ni...leman tem..hehe....superficial is a false emotion. So what exactly is Happiness ?. "The expression of joy." .. How do we express joy ? What does joy feel like ? which part of our body do we feel joy with ? our butt ?

 sorry...wa cakap melayu...lidah dah bebelit. 

Mak wa cakap...lu akan rasa gumbira ketika berjaya...dan definition of berjaya to her is ..
ada keta besar.....ada rumah besar....ada gaji besar....pangkat besar....bini cantik.....kote besar ...ermmm. 


This is what happiness means to her.. success. wealth.. u have more than the other fuckers. 
More = happy....sorry mum...but fuck u ! I used have all that..and i dun feel a fuck of joy inside me..
same as crazy....when people do not understand someone...they often labeled them as crazy. Someone who is true to himself once quoted ..
" The worst thing to call somebody is crazy, it's dismissive, "I don't understand this person, so they're crazy" - that's bullshit. These people are not crazy, they're strong people, maybe their environment is a little sick."

Since our childhood, we are pre programed on how to define people...this person is crazy...this person is happy, not once we stood there and try to understand what do we really feel or what emotion really means.

For me, these emotions...happiness, joy..sadness..etc etc is only word we used best to describe what our feelings are....Each of us will not share the same personal definition on those feelings. What we felt can only be define by ourself...be it possitive emotion or negatives.

True feeling of happiness for me is a feeling that only can be felt for a fraction of a second. it will never last.. same as climax...if he or she feel long lasting climax...its a superficial climax..


But....i might be wrong.

hehehe macam assignment paper daaa....

  

Thursday

Fashion Statement

Korang penah ada orang tegur pasal zip seluar ?? gua penah


 Sedang wa berjalan jalan di satu pusat membeli belah yang terkenal di ibukota.(Nama tiada bulih dinyatakan)...ada brader ni tarik wa......


Brader ni : dik....zip terbukak tu
Gua :  huh ???
Brader ni : alamaakk...sorri sorri dik....mai mistaik...i apologais.
Gua : no problem 

 Lalu wa pun meneruskan perjalanan wa yang awesome lagi macho itu, namun, hujan ditengah hari kusangkakan tiada tolok bandingan nya sampai ke petang....tetapi secara tiba tiba. seorang gadis sunti yang buah dadanya agak terjojol mencuit gua..


Si Tetek : bang...zip abang tu terbukak...
Gua yang merenung tetek : eh uh ?? ni button fly la dik....butang terbang
Si Tetek : OOhhh ....sori sori bang, saya mintak maap...sori
Gua yang masih merenung tetek : ahh ...issokeh bebi...lebiu


  Memandangkan hari masih lagi belum menerawang ke waktu senja, dan jua kicau kicauan burung belum lagi kedengaran.....wa pun mengatur langkah meneruskan perjalanan mencari tako tako itu. lewat 5 minit berjalan....bau udah menjuruskan dirinya memasuki rongga rongga idung gua....jadi gua berpikir ...." oh ...udah dekat "


TETAPI !!....dengan secara tiba tiba tanpa sebarang amaran yang di keluarkan oleh memana pihak, Ada satu gadis yang agak biasa penampilan buah dada nya...menegur gua dengan penuh perasaan kecemasan di hatinya


Gadis cemas : bang bang.....tu tu....seluar tu, zip tebukak nampak kote tu
Gua yang ikut juga cemas : huh....eh ah....mana ada
Gadis cemas : laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......sori bang ...sori 
Gua yang dah ok : takpa....lupakan ianya terjadi.
Gadis cemas : hehehe....sori ya abang yang ensem bukan main kepalang
Gua yang bangga : biasa.....normal



PUKIMAK !!!.....3 org tegur gua pasal zip !...ni la last time wa bikin fesen setetmen wa.

lepas ni jangan harap wa nak pakai seluar yang zip dia berbentuk kote lagi ! pukimaaaaaak


Jadi memana kambing yang kekunun fesen stetment tu...pakai seluar lelondeh nampak spenda tu....wa nasihat...berenti ja la

Tuesday

A letter to God

 I have sent a letter to god... it came back. On the back of the envelope, there's a stamping with the word.....return to sender.

 SO LO AND BEHOLD !... I AM GOD

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance

   After much debates, i finally comes into agreement that the 5 stages of grief can be use in other significant life events.

This startling view is based on myself....didn't notice it at first, but after much soul-searching, i've concluded the said matter is correct. The event that made me changed my mind is this

  • Denial
 No la , my penis is not that big....its normal like anyone else
  • Anger 
How dare u named my penis "pride"......do you know the consequences ?
  • Bargaining
ok ok......u can name my balls John and Eric.....but no naming my penis pride
  • Depression 
WHY !!!!!......why these damn girls giving my penis more attention than me !....im so sad...im gonna kill myself...whats the point !
  • Acceptance
yes....i  have a big cock

With the example given, i now concluded....and humbly declare.....although having a big cock is a tremendous advantage...it also comes with great responsibility..
For future big cockers, learn and exercise my teaching so you will achieve the total awesomeness state that i am in


thank you

 

Friday

18sx

 Wa tengah duduk minum......wa nak isap rokok....wa nak baca sokabar.. jadi jangan la kacau gua lahanaaaaaaaaaaaaat !

 Ni bebudak umur 18 zaman sekarang, memasing rasa perlunya dorang jadi tumpuan. kena gempak dari orang lain.. baju kena stail...seluar kena pakai nampak spenda. topi kena pakai senget....rambut kena buat tegak macam oteromen... butuh !. tu bukan gempak la lahanat...itu cacat !

lu orang nak tau apa itu gempak ? Gua.....mother fucking gua.

lu orang bukak kamus....sebelah perkataan gempak tu tulis dah....contoh yang hidup : en. kotey. Siap ada gambar gua lagi sebelah perkataan tu. Sebab apa wa gempak ?....meh wa cerita

Semalam wa jumpa rimau kat tepi jalan. wa berenti. wa panggil rimau tu....aum aum aum., dia datang. wa bukak tin makanan kucing......wa bagi dia makan, lalu....wa pun bertanya.. :-

Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : Wasaaap rimau

Rimau : aummm..


Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : lapa ? ..nah makan

Rimau : Aummm....aummmm ...grrrr

Manusia Gempak Di tepi Jalan : Yup....ekonomi dunia sekarang dalam keadaan tidak menentu, mengikut unjuran kewangan yang lepas....kita bakal menghadapi inflasi tidak kurang dari 5% dalam awal suku tahun depan.

Rimau : auum ?

Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : Wall Street Journal


Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : Sebab tu lah kita kena mencaturkan ekonomi kita agar kelas  bawahan mampu berbelanja....semoga cash flow tidak terganggu.

Rimau : auuuuum...AUMMM ...aumm

Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : Jap...tepun


Pompuan Memekak Selalu Tepun : Bi....lapar....nak kek

Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : Pukimak

Rimau : Auum

Manusia Gempak Di Tepi Jalan : ok rimau....wa kena gerak...jumpa lagi

Rimau : Burrppp.

Amacam ?? gempak tak ?

Divine Comedy

       To tell the truth, nothing but the Truth,so i am god........divine ? sure the fuck not.

White n Black, Dark n Light, Female n Male , Penis n Vagina....every single thing is created as a pair. So does the so called " Truth ".. Truth cant and never will be separated from a lie. A friend once said.. the truth is nothing more than what u want to believe. If u really believe in it..then it is the truth... HUH ?

For example. A woman who never seen a bigger penis than mine, would believe it with all her heart and soul that my dick is HUGE. she will go on and on ...." Betul babe....Besarrrrr ! ilang mata itam i " although i must admit mine is big....but my pure awesomeness stature must remind her...the world is vast.

Same as a lazy cock sucking fucker...if he believe, he is innocent, despite all the allegation that is thrown toward him... then...thats the truth....for him, or for his followers, who ever the fuck they are. U can bombard them with hard facts..reasons..and logic. Once they believe in something...it will always be the truth.

For short. there is no truth...except 2 side of everything...whats ur beliefs...and whats not. Put ur beliefs in everything u do...and u will be true to thy self.

I am awesome. I believe in it.....therefore it is true. 

Tuesday

Tripple One Nine

   A friend of mine once said.." He who walk with pride, often falls into cow dung".

   Although great admiration this mere mortal shown towards me, with sad heart...i have to disagree.My findings are based on these facts

  1.  I have met alot of people, travelled far and wide...and never ever....not even once...came across a person named pride......who the fucking fuck is he ?? How can i walk with pride if i never meet any ? Is it a name of your dog ? Or should i name my cock "pride" ?????..would sound awesome i think....."when kotey whipped out his pride....the crowd went wild ! "
  2. This is fucking Kuala Lumpur dude.......where the fuck could u find a cow ? Is it shoved up your arse ? May i see it ? Holy fucking fuck where the fucking hell is this said cow ?
  3. He is dumb....thus he is bound to be wrong
  4. I have a big penis/cock/dick/weiner/john ...hence i am never wrong
  5. this is 2011..For fuck sake...who the hell still used the word "dung"...girls called me hung yea...but never heard anyone use the word dung for ages. I think they all died." Oh fuck....a bird just dunged on my car ! " ???? pfffftt....

FUCK YOU....FUCK YOUR COW....FUCK YOUR DUNG....and most of all....FUCK WHOEVER THIS PRIDE PERSON IS !!! 

Geremmer

 Wa bikin keputusan...wa akan cuba menulis dalam bahsa omputeh, pasal wa rasa, ramai yang macam celaka...jadi wa nak buktikan kepada mereka...bahawa mereka ini bukan macam celaka...tetapi...lebih pada bodoh bangang.

  Jadi, sekiranya anda rasa bahawasanya geremmer wa salah.....itu bermakna...anda bangang, pasal kote wa besar....jadi wa tak pernah salah.

sekian.

Sunday

Manusia Gempak Selain Aku

  Akhirnya....pencarian gua membuahkan hasil...wa jumpa ada satu mamat ni tulis blog, bagi gua dia gempak, Nama dia Amir kalau tak silap wa.....jadi wa amek keputusan tiru stail dia, pasal manusia gempak ni adalah satu penomena...wa tiru pasal wa takut nanti dia mati..stail dia ilang, Kalau ilang..si bangang yang lain tak dapat menikmati kehebatan dia ..dan juga aku.


Hmmm.....sesilap kote dia pun cam aku gak...besar. biasalah, orang gempak = kote besar. tak caya tanya anwar

Mirror Mirror

Dear worshippers,

  When u look at a mirror, what do u see ? lu orang nampak muka lu orang yang buruk ? takda masa depan ? menyusahkan masyarakat ? duit takda ? jerawat cam gunung ? nasib macam sial ?...ya, itu yang lu orang nampak senantiasa. Lu tau pasai apa ? lu orang takda self-confident. lu Negative thinking..." ohhh im not like that...im positive." ...BUTUH ! pi kat cermin tu....pastu tunjuk kat muka lu sendiri....pastu cakap macam wa cakap....BUTUH !

   Bila wa nenguk cermin....wa nampak .pride...power....kote besar....ensem...gempak...awesome..huge magnitude of greatness...dan macam macam lagi. tapi enuff about me...kote gua besar. tak perlu cerita lelebih.

   Lembik, pemalas...blame on others...procrastinators. korang ni berubah bila masuk dalam kereta ja. time keja..semua slow..macam gampang, tapi bila start keta...tekan minyak, macam kalau lu orang tak sampai cepat...dunia kiamat.Wa ulang.....time keja....idup nyata...SLOW macam pukimak. tapi bila bawak kereta....fucking opposite.

   Lu oppose everything single thing.. lu orang rasa teraniaya.Tapi atas jalan, lu adalah the same mother-fuckers yang lu orang oppose. kamon laaa.....semua sama, jangan kencing gua.

  wa nasihat...cuba attitude time travel lu tu....lu implement masa buat kerja...everyday life...pastu kalau masih ada komplen, lu amek racun.. lu minum..kalau lu orang mati. wa tak rugi apa...kurang satu orang sembah gua tak bermakna wa ilang power.

Friday

Sex and The City Part 2

 "Brader mau tenguk amoi ?"..ni ayat biasa memana spa. Pasal apa wa tau ? wa memang manusia yang pegi spa.
wa konsider maiself as a pilantropis.Tah eja camna tah...pi mampus. wa macam membantu dorang ni untuk sarahidup..walaupun age old myth tu wa tak brapa percaya...yakni " I do this to pay for my college fee"...BUTOH !

 "tak tak...wa nak rilek dulu, kalau wa nak wa panggei lu"..wa amek sokabar, kupi dan telur setengah masak..wa lepak cuci mata.. memacam orang pi spa. Tua muda..botak gemuk pendek tinggi bangang pandai...bak kata pepatah.. This is where 1Malaysia really applies.

Pukimak....dah 2 jam, sokabar dah 10 kali ulang...geng spa ni dah 4 kali tanya wa nak pompuan tak. Maybe dorang beranggapan....mamat ni kote besar...dia mesti nak pompuan,

 "Ni ada melayu girl baru bro, kalau nak tenguk",..Nak wa antuk kepala dia ngan kusi...dia besar. wa takut....jadi wa cakap ok.

Bwahahahahaahah !!!!....kurang sikit besar dari badak air !. alahai gampangnya pompuan ni. dah la gemuk, buruk. jadi pelacur. iskkk....mmg pukimak la.
Bwaahahahahahaha

Sex and The City Part 1

 As i brought forth my awesome manly body to the 3rd Floor, My awesomeness of such great magnitude that sent each individual into a state of awe and could destroy mere mortals brain and could change the nature of gravity enter the place....i am greeted with warmth that never before shown to other godlike man with pure awesome manly muscular body and great bulge in their manly pants.

Tapi...enough about me. wa nak rilek ja....sesambil cuci mata. duit pun tak berapa banyak nak amek pelacur.

He who came by water and blood

 Wa dah la kalut pegi keja tadi pagi....pukimak jem lak kat loke yew. Haram jadah ni semua keluar dari rumah serentak ke ? sialan.

  Memang pompuan bawak keta macam gampang...depan wa pompuan..kiri wa pompuan. Muka buruk lak tu. gerenti bangang.
Rupanya kat depan ada eksiden...ada mamat moto ni tah apa suwei jatuh tersungkur...wa tenguk berdarah lutut.Mamat tu duduk kat tepi jalan sesambil lap lutut.....ni la dia, bawak moto macam pukimak..suruh sekolah takmo..nak beracing. padan muka ko babi !

Kalau wa jadi polis...org camni wa ikat kat pokok ada kerengga....pastu carik ranting kayu...asah tetajam....cucuk jubo dia..Pastu suruh dia duduk atas ais kering....biar tanggal kulit jubo. MENYUSAHKAN !!

Wahai lahanat motorist semua....keta gua dah la besar....merah lak tu....takkan gua pulak nak be aware akan kehadiran anda di kiri kanan semua....god give us brain for a reason.

Fear Of The Dark

Restoran Hajris Bistro  (3°6'7.8476''N 101°42'32.1527''E)


Manusia Paling Gempak Di Dunia Yang Berkote Besar : Kopi Jantan Kosong satu...gula takmo susu takmo.
Manusia Bernama Atuk (Bukan Manusia Sebenar) : Sama
Aku Tatau Nama Dia : kosom ?
Manusia Paling Gempak Di Dunia Yang Berkote Besar : Kosong la pukimak jahanam...kosong !
Aku Tatau Nama Dia : wokeh. 

Manusia Paling Gempak Di Dunia Yang Berkote Besar : Bangang....betul bangang


Manusia Paling Gempak Di Dunia Yang Berkote Besar : Bai....lu tau apa itu Fear Of The Dark ?
Manusia Bernama Atuk : ahh wa tau tu....anak buah wa takut tu benda
Manusia Paling Gempak Di Dunia Yang Berkote Besar : woaaaahhh.... 
Atuk : ya sungguh....lama dah, dia kalau sampai time takut dia...siap nenangis
Manusia Paling Gempak Di Dunia Yang Berkote Besar : abis tu ? mak bapak dia tak bawak jumpa saikologi ka apa ka ?
Atuk : huh...tarak guna punya parents, asik FB siang malam...bukan ada kira pasal anak ke apa..sesikit update status..macam lu cakap la....Berak @ fesbuk
Kotey : Bwahahaha...cam cibai. Abis budak tu malam tido camna ?kena pasang lampu senantiasa ?
Atuk : tada tada...dia tido awal..nanti dia dah tido padam la lampu...lagi itu menatang malam mana ada sangat.
Kotey : uh ah ?? woaaaahhh...tenguk tu ...tu tu ...tetekkkkk, sampai terangkat baju dia tak kena pusat...tu tanda tetek besar tu...
Atuk : Ooo...wa paham

Kotey :  ermm...takkan org tua dia bikin tatau ? tak jumpa kounselor ke apa ke ? esuk besar susah bai wa cakap lu
Atuk : tah..dorg sambil lewa ja...sian gak aku tenguk kalau dia jumpa menatang tu...siap lelari nyuruk..kekadang dengar bunyik pun terus nangis ..
Kotey :  huh ?????
Atuk :  ya la....bunyik kuek kuek si itik tu ....dia dengar terus nangis
Kotey: PUKIMAK !!!!.....DARK LAAA !.....D.A.R.K ..darkkkk...gelap !...bukan duck itik tu lahanat !!!!
Atuk : Ooo



 

Thursday

Baghal

 Baghal ni....kalau kat india, nama tempat. Kalau kat malaysia..dia di kategorikan binatang yang degil, bodoh bangang lembab tolol bahlul ..semua yang beburuk la.

Jadi..si baghal-baghal di msia ni..korang bulih tak pakai what left in ur empty head that even looks like a brain and think..dont always put the blame on others...kekadang benda tu terjadi atas kebodohan memasing.

Duit takda...salah gomen..bawak moto eksiden...salah jalan...kote kecik...salah mak bapak..bini buruk cam pukimak ..salahkan bini.

Dok mengata orang lain..tapi korang sama ja cam kambing..kekadang berudu tu pun lagi pandai dari korang baghal ni semua..Aku tak sokong memana site of politics ni.. aku dengar hujah..aku kaji, pastu aku buat keputusan... ini dak. suka korang ja nak conclude...tapi bila kena kritik, mula la nak pull out race card la..merajuk la...demo la..jubo orang la. buat video la. eh pukimak la korang.Pakai songkok tinggi...kopiah putih, tapi otak takda.

Melayu Cina India...sama bangang. Kalau aku jadi PM..1st sekali aku buat...tembak semua orang yang kote kecik dari aku...pastu buat robot. transformers...buat voltron...suruh dorang perang. aku makan popcorn

ahh btw...did i mention i have a big dick ?

AKU GEMPAK !!!!!

Bwahahahahahah ! Penah ada pompuan cakap kat lu orang kote lu besar ? wa penah !

Bwwahahahahahaahahaha

Reason

Do we need a reason? have u fuckers ever heard the word impulse ?

Untuk Jadi Tumpul

 Bagi yang bangang omputeh....direct translation to be blunt ni...untuk jadi tumpul. Ya la kan..korang kan tak suka PPSMI..kekunun tak perlu belaja omputeh. jadi wa anggap lu bangang omputeh ..tu ja. period

Jadi berbalik ke tajuk kita pada waktu ini...susah ka jadi tumpul ? susah kah jadi jujur?

oh ya...wa malas nak cek spelling wa ni semua..besar kecik ke urup ke ikut perenggan ke apa ke. wa tak pedulik. wa bukan nak masuk peksa.

Semalam wa pi expo kat CiDB.. kalau wa cerita wa pi expo apa pun..wa bukan bulih dapat duit...jadi go fuck ur self.
Eitherway...masa kat expo ni, wa pi kat satu booth...Apek tua ni duk nak jual produk dia kat wa. Wa pun dengan terpegunnya memberi perhatian...tetiba wa nampak zip dia undone. time tu jam 1pm...expo start pukui 9am., soalan wa... apa takda kah pukimak yang tegur apek ni ? salahkah kalau lu orang tunjuk, pi bisik kat telinga dia..."apek..kote lu nampak"

Jadi wa pun tegur...apek tu tanpa segan silu tarik zip dan sambung cerita dia pasal produk tu...dan wa pun sambung terpegun

Intro

 Gua bikin blog ni bukan pasal nak carik pussy...nak jadi glamer...nak masuk politik. Wa tulis pasal wa suka...eh pukimak..pesal ada burung kat belah kanan atas tu.....kruurrrr kurrrr.

Ramai orang tulis blog dah....siap letak resepi...letak gambar keluarga...gambar kucing...gambar spender baru beli pun letak..apa pukimaknya korang ni...spenda takyah la tunjuk sial...cuba jadi cam wa...wa pasal nak share wa punya awesomeness dengan mortals and peasants semua..bak kata pepatah. u suck..i am great. go and die
bwahahahahahahahaha